Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!

alot of shit has happened since i wrote last.
zack and i will not ever get married because he cant wont ever do that again. im hurt immensely by that statement. i cried so fuckin hard that night i dont know what time i fell asleep.
i dont want anyone else. i want to marry him, i want to have kids with him, i want to die with him. i wish i could bleed out all of my love for him forever so he can understand what its like to really love someone who has been burned badly that doesnt receive the messages that i want him forever. if i bled out i could show him my whole love was in every drop in my body. lately we havent talked we havent hugged we havent even gone to show together in a long time since archers at least.
i wish he wasnt so burned. i mean he says he doesnt want to do that again. i AM NOT HER. he doesnt understand that part.
im also having a struggle with myself besides him. i know i have opportunities in hair. I can go to PR at Partners cuz i might have an interview with the marketing director on tuesday. I could go to Sassoon again. I can check out Arrojo in NYC and see if there is something for me up there. serving is not my thing. im just doing it for quick cash. hopefully to get through the winter. hopefully is a big word at the moment.
the lyrics for cabaret's Maybe this time sang through my head this afternoon and i started to cry. just cuz i can sorta relate....
Maybe this time, I'll be lucky
Maybe this time, he'll stay
Maybe this time
For the first time
Love won't hurry away
He will hold me fast
I'll be home at last
Not a loser anymore
Like the last time
And the time before
Everybody loves a winner
So nobody loved me;
'Lady Peaceful,' 'Lady Happy,'
That's what I long to be
All the odds are in my favor
Something's bound to begin
It's got to happen, happen sometime
Maybe this time I'll win
but i think love will hurry away from me and i hope it wont. i wont go through another getting to know you phase with some other asshole.

hey there internetz


i havent been on here in a long ass time cuz i really have nothing to say.
I have a twitter account now but i rarely post on that too.
my boyfriend is now a pedicab driver in dc. like daughter like mother, i think ill end up with a cabbie from new york...omg

so far this year has been good. i finally got my dc license so i applied at different salons in dc to get out of the one i am in now. i have an interview tomorrow night in Gtown so im excited for that. i also have been seeing some of my friends on the regular like heather and jaci. hearing gossip makes me so happy !

eric emailed me through facebook "apologizing" for how he treated me. i couldve just ranted on and on about the shit in NYC and sharing money but that would just complicate things. so i said what i said and he wrote back bitchy like someone stole his game controller then i said "you did what you did, said what you said i dont care! :)"

end of that. fuck that guy.

i really hope i get a better job. it'll be slow for a few months but i dont mind.

anyway guys i really dont care who reads this or doesnt. i just dont come on here very much. i bitch alot to my best friend zack so why even do it here? i miss writing out my feelings alot but i just dont have time for it.

<3 yall



alex
anyway..... i gotta get home to

i was just thinking how if i had moved to California when i was 19 when i visited i wouldn't be in this rut i am in. i hope i would've met this amazing out of work man of mine but i know the living situation would be in CALIFORNIA.


i was thinking if David, my old best friend who i wrote to in prison for 8 years of my life, would we still be friends? and would he be out of prison and be my friend? i never even see a picture of him, and yet i have DJT tattooed on my hip. i wonder if he would be a tattoo artist or an artist in general working. i just wonder. im so upset that we haven't written each other in 6 years and i hope he is ok.

i actually just looked him up on a inmate search from California. unless he died in prison or he got out of prison his name isnt coming up on the search. im kinda sad cuz i hope he didnt die. i dont want to have the last communication to be hateful. he hated me when i told him about eric. Im kind of hopeful because that means he is alive and has a life outside.


i still have an envelope with his last prison number and unit. i really wish i had a letter of his still. i threw all that shit away.


what really got me was i sent him tons of money. he wanted me to send him $180 for a see through tv. that was around the time i was seeing eric and i just said no!


laters

I've never felt so disrespected in a job ever in my life! not by a customer but by an employer aka Beth! I planned out in my head that there was to be a festival today on 17th at which I thought would be fun! so I am now wearing my Bret Farve jersey shorts and sneakers. fine right? no my boss asked me IN FRONT OF Clients if I was hungover?! I'm so pissed. she said that I looked like I rollled off the couch and grabbed whatever was clean. i am so ready for a switch! I don't want her to promote me or promote the extensions. which she hasn't done the Jew bitch cuz she doesn't want to. I haven't looked her in the eyes or engaged conversation with her cuz it's no use. i'm not respected here.

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exactly.
got my pin up tattoo. still with zack. saw heather and nicole but just hung out with heatther mostly.
almost got kicked out of a bar the same night
saw heather 3 times this summer!!!!

went fishing with zack and bill

going fishning at prospect bay VA or MD i dont know.....

just having a damn good time!

*sign*

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sweet! I got lj on my itouch! I'm so happy!
now I just need to post to dc community about my bond plus extenions and maybe get some guiena pigs!

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going to a nats game. this is the first time i will go to a baseball game without a boyfriend in tow. but i will be texting him all night!

<3 my boyfriend zack. i just wish he wanted to marry me.

yeah thats what happened this morning. the title of the entry. :)

so last weekend was a blast. I hung out with Heather and did a walk for cystic fibrosis. I did it for caila and her family and ellen. I did see Eric there, which was kinda awkward seeing that i didnt want to talk to him. I kinda walked off somehow and didnt see him after that. Dude has fucking his nostrils pierced and his bridge peirced. he was SOOO CUTE with out them. now he just looks like he's got douchebag on his forehead now.

then heather and i hung out and bonded over alot of things. we went to unos for a late lunch and i had the WORST burger ever. i got it for free and i was happy even though i was still hungry afterwards. We just did our girl thing.
the next day i went to the Dulles Town Center and nothing has changed. absolutely nothing. except some stores are still closed and popeyes took over the texas grill place. nancy picked me up and we went to BODY Gallery where i saw and hung out for a hour and got nana touched up. Joey is awesome as always and i saw his doodle book and i want this head he drew up on me somewhere. its so bad ass! Nancy and I proceeded down rt. 7 and went to Dogfish Brewery. It was amazing. We had tasters of the Midas Touch which to me it tasted like Apple Cider Wine. It was good but i wont buy a sixer. I eventually drank a Lawnmower which was yuengling like in taste but more of a gold instead of amber. Then we had crab soup with a cream base sauce with FRESH CRAB! yummy in my tummy. then we went to eat burgers. and she got hit on by a chick in the bathroom LOL! and made Nancy buy her 100th black knee length skirt which was fun.
;P
Then we headed to H St NE where we ate delicious pie at DANGEROUS PIES.
then she drove me home and we hung out here for a bit and she left to go home.
Zack and I had our fun. I should go away more often if that happens. LOL

roo is being really cute right now.
So this weekend was pretty fun. Zack brought me something back that is really special and we are only gonna do it every 2 months. :P
Today I woke up at 7!!!! to get to a hair extension class in tysons. Omg.
BOND PLUS IS AWESOME! www.bondplus.com
look it up. It is basically DAMAGE FREE hair extensions. no glue and no long ass hours detangling and spending 8 hours doing a whole head of hair. at most it takes 2-3 hours for a whole head of hair. and its way cheaper than Great Lengths and SO CAP USA. So i am gonna bring it to my boss and see what she thinks. I hope she adds it to the salon cuz that is awesome for me. Plus i went out of MY WAY on my day off to get this extensive training. i cant wait to get my $275 and show my boss the information and the maybe do the application on her. its so awesome.

its moments like these where i like being a hairdresser. i feel powerful.

damnit!

i just wrote a bunch of shit! fucking back button.
well tomorrow i am gonna be doing a charity walk for cystic fibrosis and i have to be at dunn lorring at 10 for ellen to pick me up. Then heather is gonna be joining me for a nice walk/jog/ frolick around lake anne in reston. One thing im nervous about is seeing Eric. I dont want to see him, be near him or breath the same air.

yah pretty rough right? good.

im happy cuz after the walk heather and i can go hangout and get into some trouble.

MONDAY MONDAY
nancy is hanging out! yayayayayyy!!! gettin my nana tattoo touched up my mister van goor.

then i dont know what. seriously have no clue what to do after that. maybe leesburg..... hmmmm....


whatever i am just happy to be with my friends this weekend.